Well... It took me like two or three weeks till I decided to update my journal. God, does it always have to be in this way?
Always in rush, going somewhere, trying to handle everything in what we are used to call "every day life".
And when I finally have time then I'm actually too tired to do anything, to write- to even think of it! It scares me sometimes...
Sometimes it's fun, that's true. Staying busy, working hard may give you motivation to work even harder. Especially when you see good results of your work. It gives you satisfaction and you feel you're good at what you're doing. But is it all about this? Or is it enough?
Sometimes after the whole week, on Saturday afternoon when I'm done with everything and I finally have time for myself, I go my room, I take a deep breath while getting rest and I ask myself "Where the hell am I going to?". Sometimes I have a feeling I just keep going ahead only because I know I have to move and I can't be staying at one place doing nothing. I keep holding on believing it's worth. I think I know what my goal is, I think I know where I want to get to... But it's all just "I think", "I suppose"...
Nothing is clear, nothing is easy and... I'm just worried, one day I may not handle this just by myself. Something will go wrong and I'll say "fuck it". I fear there will be nobody to support me. I would not like this to happen but well... I also would rather like to ask a question "Where are we going to go?" instead "Where the hell am I going to?" but as many things it does not depend on me.

Anyways... Sorry for such a long, boring and maybe a little depressing reflection but it's what I've been lately thinking about.
So... It's 2am. Switching the topic to more optimistic one- I uploaded many new pictures. Finally!
Some of them are from Portugal- a place which is beautiful.
A place which is charming, amazing, and truly special.
A place I really love.
A place which I'm longing to go to.

Last time, it was December. December, January actually... Freaking cold winter in Poland. Still warm sun in Portugal. Unforgettable landscapes on Cabo da Roca (the westenrmost point of Europe), amazing and friendly people, great architecture, culture, cuisine... This country has this kind of a "spirit" I just can't describe with words.
And picking oranges from the trees (in winter) I texted my family and my friends saying "Greetings from Paradise"...
Last time I told myself not to go there unless I'd go with someone. Somone who would enjoy the warm weather. Someone who would feel the thrill looking at the wide ocean standing on a high cliff, someone who would have "this" kind of spirit so he wouldn't have to use any words to describe things.

*sighs* Almost 3am.
I hope you all are going to sleep well