Well...
I feel like it's been forever so I decided to write something and let people know what's going on lately.
But to be honest not too much.
I remember like a week ago I felt happy- today I'm actually trying to figure out what happens around me.
And I feel like I'm let's say... getting lost between some kind of hapieness and illusion that the "hapieness" changes into.
I'm not even able to tell what's more real and why it works in this way.
You probably know this feeling, when you suddenly feel happy- the spring is slowly coming, you realize you have great friends, you randomly meet someone interesting and you think everything is getting better, you hope a good time is coming. But then... for some weird reason everything disappears, blows away and you have a feeling you did something wrong, you made a mistake somewhere- you have a feeling that you just fucked things up.
Everything what you thought was going to be beautiful, became just an illusion. You keep blaming yourself analyzing your each single word and move, wondering what happened, how it was actually possible and what you should believe in.
I have this feeling from last Thursday or Friday. Or maybe even Saturday morning... Hard to say.

I'm not depressed or anything like this. I still have a satisfaction from what I'm doing. I tutor kids who come to my lessons and tell me they're the best in their class and they've got the best grades on the test thanks to me.
It's an AWESOME feeling.
During the weekend I also had to plan a trip to Portugal for one travel agency that asked me for doing this. It was really nice. Especially I'm in love with Portugal
So yeah... I'm doing things I'm good at I think.
But just people around me- those who are my friends and those who I lately met make me very confused and sad in some way.

Yeah, I think that's all for now.

I miss Portugal a lot and I can't wait till spring sunny days come again.
Hopefully they will bring the good time back...